Haileys Blog

In part three Deep-Time Humility of the good ancestor written by Roman Krznaric, the author discusses the concepts of time and how it is viewed through history, from church time to merchant time, how time can be viewed as a straight line or a circle and the differences in between. This section was the most intriguing for me because the concept of time has always been astonishing to me. When we are having fun time flies but when we are not time can go SOOO slow. Yet the clock in both scenarios is going the exact same speed. Krzaric talks about how before merchant time was invented “our ancestors lived in tune with the rhythmic circles of life embedded in everything from their daily lives to their daily sleep patterns.” That amazes me, to be able to just live off the patterns you established as you grew instead of looking at the clock and thinking “oh well its 8pm time for bed.” When we know we are not tired, we just need to sleep or else waking up for that job we have would not be pleasant. Krzaric talks about how in the late 1300s the clock and merchant time was what everyone had been using now. There was no more relying on patterns to go through the day. Merchant time became popular because it was easier to preach (metaphorically) “time is money” and the only way to charge for time would be to measure it. Time no longer is “a gift of god” and merchant time overthrew church time. I made a note that I would love to go back to living by church time, no more clocks, let us do what our bodies want us to do naturally.  

Deep-time humility is more than just the difference between church time and merchant time and circles and lines. Krzaric begins to discuss how we have forgotten to think about the long term, the future, and the consequences of our actions now and how digital distraction plays a key role in the shortening of how we as humans view the future. With the invention of gps, YouTube, email, social media our attention has gone from thinking about four generations down the line to only thinking about our next internet post. As Krzaric puts it “this is exactly what happens with the technologies that direct us through informational space.”  

Genesis was debunked or so it seems. In 1785 in Victorian England deep tie was being discovered, James Hutton was not the first to question the age of the planet, but his ideas became the conventional wisdom. By the nineteenth century Hutton’s ideas of the planet, being immeasurably old and that humankind had existed for only a minuscule portion of its history, had been spread by pioneering scientists!  

The discovery of deep time contributed heavily to the Victorian craze for geology and archeology. Krzaric writes about H.G Wells, one of the greatest minds of the age, and how he believed that if we could look so far into the past, we should be able to look forward just as far. This statement gave Wells his reputation as the inventor of the discipline of futurology (future studies). Before Wells many authors did not write about further down the line future, he is the god father of science fiction. Which is the coolest thing about this chapter.  

Krzaric continues in this part to talk about trees, not just any trees but ancient trees, and how there are trees that live thousands of years and do not show signs of falling. Trees do not die natural deaths. Trees are true symbols of deep time, and they also act as e extension of us humans. There is no deep time formula but if we could only think like a tree, thousands of years ahead of us then maybe we could feel that same cosmic energy run through us. “Don’t just do something; sit there” I loved this, to really feel and think like a tree we must act like a tree. Still, breathing, unnerving. With real effort we could really understand deep time, and reach out full purpose! 

Answer the question posed at the bottom of p. 77: “If you were given $100 million and asked to allocate it for the welfare of humankind, how would you do it?” Instead of giving a dollar breakdown, you may want to define what principles would guide your decison-making.

$100 million dollars is a lot of money, and most people could give you a list of the first things they’d buy, the first places they’d go. But I’ve had a plan for a long time, and the first call, if I ever came into that much money would be to my lawyer. It takes a lot to help end world hunger, or larger world sized problems. But it doesn’t take a lot to help locally. Morally, I would want to reach out to homeless shelters, child care centers, nursing homes and emergency centers. All the places that could need more man power, better resources, stable flow of income to keep them supported. Lower income based neighbor hoods, where I grew up need the help the most. These are the places that get cut on budgets when there’s not enough money and they’re often the places that need it the most. Growing up I couldn’t afford sports because my mother didn’t have the money to do it for me. Id want to help kids that don’t have the ability to do things like soccer. When I was younger my mother told me I “didn’t need braces” but the dentist was very sure I did. We didn’t get the braces and now as an adult my teeth suffer. I want to help kids whose parents can’t afford the braces. There are so many elderly that don’t have family for the holidays, how could I use my wealth to help that? im not sure but I would love to try and figure it out. There are so many cases like these that may not be screaming “world hunger” but they are problems that are small enough that I could solve, and things that would make even the smallest part of the world better.

I chose prompt 1-

Contrast the cyclical and linear notions of time. Do you consider the movmeent from a cyclical sense of time to a linear sense a progression? Which more closely matches your own sense of time? Explain.

Cyclical and linear notions of time. Two notions of time that follow two different time lines, one is just that a line and the other time is viewed in a circle. Linear notions of time is just what it sounds like, the view of time in a straight line. The most common analogy is viewing time like an arrow, launched from the past, crossing the present and heading for the future. Cyclical notion of time is time being viewed in a circle, where instead of heading from the past going to the future time is over lapping, continuously repeating itself over and over. Linear time notion is to be based on the world constantly progressing. Where as Cyclical notion is where no “real” progress can be made because time repeats itself and the future is already there. But with Linear time we are building towards a future.

In my own opinion I would say I view time as Cyclical, I believe time hadn’t repeated itself, where would deja vu come from? Cyclical time also promotes repetition, “history repeats itself.” The same things continue to happen in history because time is constantly in a state of repetition and we are constantly living the same events just on a different scale. Both notions to me just make time seem to real and I will continue to live blissfully (to an extent) in the present.

“The interplay between these two time zones [marshmallow brain and acorn brain] in our minds is a good part of what makes us distinctly human” (17). 

These first few chapters really stuck out to me, as I never understood what made us so different from other mammals, why did we evolve from “scared of fire” to “sending cars to space for fun.” and other mammals like gorillas did not. Why did we get the knowledge to grow? These parts of our brains, marshmallow brain and acorn brain are the reason. They make us distinctly human because having both these parts gives us agile imagination, it gives us the ability to “see” decades into the future. These parts together gave us the ability to form empathy, altruism, and trust. The marshmallow part of the brain focuses on the short term- the instant gratification part of our brain. The Acorn brain focuses on the long term- to prepare for the future, whether it is tomorrow, a week from now, or a year from now. Together these parts make us the most social mammals, the smartest mammals, the only mammals that can think longer than an hour into the future. We as humans are the only mammals to contemplate our own death. I think that alone makes us distinctly human and we can thank both of these parts of our brains for that.  

“My Sunshine” is what she used to call me.

My grandmother, my mother’s mother is a strong, loving, will put up a fight for anything and any one she cares about, God loving woman. Despite how strong she is she did not always have it as “easy” as she does now. Many years ago, in St. Miguel Portugal, my grandmother was born to a loving couple who had loved each other so much they had fourteen other children. My grandmother Osvalda (Ozzie) Ventura was their fifteenth child. Now my grandmother does not talk about her family as deeply as some other grandparents might, but I know she loves them. Unfortunately, Ozzie did not get to grow up with her siblings, when she was only two years old her mother suddenly passed away. Overwhelmed by fourteen other children Ozzie’s father gave her up to a convent. Where from aged two Ozzie grew up.  

Generational trauma is a real thing, and being given up and raised in a convent where you are given your own physical trauma, religious trauma, and mental trauma, would not make it easy to keep that trauma from your children. For Ozzie it did not make parenting easy. At the age of twenty-two Ozzie came to America where not long after her plane landed did, she meet my loving, wonderful, will kick butt if he had to grandfather. They got married and had my mom and my aunt. My grandmother was not raised in a loving environment, so she did not keep a loving environment. Because of this my mother, my aunt grew up knowing truly little about their mother’s family, they grew up not knowing what a proper family was supposed to be. I personally watched my mother learn how to overcome her own upbringing to show me better. My mother’s roots were not sturdy, but she did everything she could to make sure mine (her) were.  

When you are raised with strangers, so far from your siblings and family that you do not know them anymore, Somethings you just cling onto. My grandmother always clung to the thought of her mother, and her siblings, even though she truly could not tell us anything about them. When it comes to school projects and needing to write about something like this, about our ancestors or our family past, I always find it hard. The way my grandmother clings onto the tiny details, like the rosary beads her mother wore or how many cousins she has, makes me feel like I know a lot about our family, but I know just enough to say the basics.  

Despite the lack of history within my grandmother’s family, she did not lack in giving us our own history of her. My grandmother and I, despite my mom’s upbringing, were close. Once she left her toxic marriage and met my step-grandfather she became the grandmother of your dreams. She took me for sleepovers, shopping trips, you name it, we did it. She sewed all my clothes when it needed done, she would cook me ramen to the exact consistency I liked, and I would ONLY eat it if it came from the wooden bowls from her kitchen. Every time I stayed at her house we would go for walks around the neighborhood, and she would always pretend to be lost so we would have to get her back, and she always made sure we saw the horses that were always roaming about because that was her grandbaby’s favorite part.  

I was her first grandbaby, and she was my first best friend. 

My grandmother does not talk about her family as much anymore. WE are it but she will be who i tell my grandbabies about. The woman who when I was young was the light of my world but as i grew up that light dimmed, how despite the brief time that she was able to overcome her own battles eventually our mental illnesses can become too much.  

See, my grandmother does not talk about her family, but she does talk about the world, and how it is out to get her. She does not tell me America has everything any more. Instead, America has become the country where they want to take everything from her.  

My grandmother gets worse and worse every year and that is what I see when I think of “ancestors.” She is the farthest I can view back and instead of the woman who made fresh cookies every Christmas, I picture the woman who will throw a tantrum at my baby shower, or the woman who chooses one sibling over the other when it favors her. When i think about my family ancestors i do not think of the good and fun things most people can think of, instead i think of the future that waits for my mother, me, my sister, and anyone else born from this blood.  

America used to be the place my grandmother wanted to escape too and now she wants to escape from it. Adults are always telling children to enjoy being young. We take it for granted, all we see is the good, but the older we get, the more we learn about ourselves, our families. When we become ancestors it all changes. We try to change those generational traumas that we inherit. Fix the curses bestowed upon us so maybe one day we can be called good ancestors, but that’s all we can do is try. 

(this is VERY ROUGH) just getting something out there.

My grandmother, my mothers mother loves lots of things, America being one of them. My grandmother Osvalda (Ozzie) Ventura came here to America in 1976 from Portugal at twenty two years old and as she says she came with nothing. Before her journey to America she lived in a convent. Ozzie was the youngest of fifteen children and her mother sadly passed away when she was two years old. Being overwhelmed with so many other children, Ozzie was sent to live in a convent. My grandmother, because of her upbringing, did not have many connections to her own roots, in fact it wasn’t until later in life here in America that she began to find her lost family back in Portugal. Because of that lack of “family foundation” as she grew up she didn’t instill much of a “family mentality” amongst her own family. No fault to her. 

Ozzie met my Grandfather Glenn, they got married, had two baby girls, a not so great marriage and then a divorce. This then prompted generations of unhealthy relationship habits. Now there’s a root for you. 

Love for someone other than herself is a hard thing for Ozzie, when you grow up fending for yourself it probably is a natural reaction to stay focused on yourself, to stay in survival mode for life. Ozzie also wasn’t the maternal type. My mom and aunt survived, both grew up fine minus some trauma, but my grandmother, she was not on the vote for  “MOM OF THE YEAR” award. Despite that flaw with her own children i think with her grandchildren, even for the short time it was, overcome the bad. She sewed all my clothes when it needed done, she would cook me ramen to the exact consistency I liked, and I would ONLY eat it if it came from the wooden bowls from her kitchen. 

She made sure my time with her was special. For as long as I can remember she has lived in the same trailer in the same trailer community. Every time I stayed at her house we would go for walks around the neighborhood, and she would always pretend to be lost so we would have to get her back, and she always made sure we saw the horses that were always roaming about because that was her grandbabies favorite part. 

Now my grandmother was a thrifty gal, she loved a good flea market. Luckily this woman worked at a place that hosted a flea market once a month. Every month my mother would put my sister and I in the car and drive over to my grandmother’s work, hunt her down somewhere in the halls and she’d hand us a few dollars each and put us to work. And boy did my sister and i work! We would shop until we dropped. I still love a good thrift because of this. 

My grandmother doesn’t talk about her family, our family. WE are it but she will be who i tell my grandbabies about. The woman who when i was young was the light of my world but as i grew up that light dimmed, how despite the short time that she was able to overcome her own battles eventually our mental illnesses can become too much. 

See, my grandmother doesn’t talk about her family, but she does talk about the world, and how it is out to get her. She doesn’t tell me America has everything any more. Instead America has become the country where they want to take everything from her. My grandmother gets worse and worse every year and that is what I see when I think of “ancestors.” She is the farthest I can view back and instead of the woman who made fresh cookies every Christmas, I picture the woman who will throw a tantrum at my baby shower, or the woman who chooses one sibling over the other when it favors her. When i think about my family ancestors i do not think of the good and fun things most people can think of, instead i think of the future that possibly waits for my mother, me, my sister, and any one else born from this blood. 

America used to be the place my grandmother wanted to escape too and now she wants to escape from it. Adults are always telling children to enjoy being young. We take it for granted, all we see is the good, but the older we get, the more we learn about ourselves, our families. When we become ancestors it all changes. We try to change those generational traumas that we inherit. Fix the curses bestowed upon us so maybe one day we can be called a good ancestor, but thats all we can do is try.

Truthfully this was a hard one for me, “connecting to my ancestors” isn’t exactly easy for me. The time I spent with my grandparents as a child-(both sets) is probably where I would place my most connections with my family history.

My mom doesn’t talk about it much, her mother my grandmother, talks about her history enough. I could write about that.

Came from Portugal, youngest daughter, grew up as an orphan after her mother died when she was a baby. She talks about this particularly a lot.

Ive thought about taking an ancestor DNA test thing, to find out more about myself because family history in my family is a mystery. Its not like we don’t talk about it. We just don’t.

My fathers side is out of the question, I barely know him never mind his family.

Maybe if I could remember my child hood a little better things like this would be easier.

Hot dogs. I know that’s a big thing, my dads father had a hot dog business.

My grandparents on my moms side always made pigs and a blanket which was my favorite holiday meal.

there is so much in my brain for this and yet nothing at all.

For this we had to watch two videos and discuss what surprised us or disturbed us. The first video, “how to be a good ancestor” starts off right away with calling us “the human race” out. We make problems today that we then push off solving and make it the future generations problems. As an individual I think about how I can better my life, to better my children and their children lives. But not often do I think “Oh the reason I recycle is so my children don’t have to live in global warming.” But really that reason doesn’t cross my mind and it should. We should all be thinking about the future of our planet as a whole, and what we want our future generations to be living like. Beyond the generational wealth and legacies. Towards the center of the video the speaker brings up the time rebels and mentions how kids these days are already starting to taking interest in their future, in politics, in climate matters. All things that at that age I was told “you’re too young to understand.” if some one had explained it to me instead of telling me I wouldn’t understand I probably would be more involved in social matters more today than I am. The second video is more lengthy, but towards the middle the speaker begins to bring up future generations and a quote “what have they ever done for me” where he states a lot of people think like this. It is not a singular thought and does not make you a bad person if you have it, most people are focused on trying to survive in todays worlds we can’t even think about the future. I think both these videos do a good job portraying why we should care and how we can change how we do care!

These about me things always make me so annoyed? nervous? frustrated? There is a fair list of words Id use to describe having to WRITE an about me, but there is not a single word id use to describe me. I have NO idea who I am or what I am, who I want to become or even what I believe in. I know NOTHING about myself besides two things, I am a mom, I am a student. Both of those things are neither things ABOUT me, but they are the only things I know about myself. I used to say I loved to read and I was an artist. I could read book after book and paint sunset after sunset. I used to be able to confidently say “I want to be a teacher.” I used to be able to say a lot about my self. But as I grow, as I change, I learn more and more everyday that I don’t know what I want out of life, that I don’t know who I am beyond the surface of it all. I know nothing, truly nothing. I know this is a phase in life, and that in a few years I could be on a whole new “finding myself” journey, I know that if you ask the oldest of ladies in the church group book club they’d say “hunny I still don’t even know who I am.” another might even add. “That’s the part of growing, the constant changes within ourselves that we get too rediscover, the parts of ourselves we get to relearn. Isn’t that the fun of growing up?” And maybe that’s the reason I stopped going to church book club, maybe their optimism on life wasn’t what I wanted, but now I know, now I understand that I will never KNOW who I am, im still growing and ill be growing for a long time to come.

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